The Dreams of HER(s)

Picked from a viewpoint of 5 friends about life expectations and more so … Women’s views of what they think their life should be, what they want to be and become, and more so, their dreams that one way of the other, are heading there or maybe slipped off a little bit. I am one of the women here, you could be one of them, or even all of them are different versions of one woman trying to find herself. Share with me your voice. We celebrate International Women’s Day 2023 together.

Miss Independent

I have worked my ass off for years and days.

I have never ever imagined a life that I didn’t control.

I crave the power, to decide what I want to become or even do.

If he can’t give me all of it, I have to make it myself.

I know it is not easy walking this path all by myself

I crave a male touch of things, but they seem. off

They fear a powerful woman. They want to control every step.

But I want a man who understands me and appreciates my efforts.

One who will care for me no matter how great I am.

One who will open up his arms every day of my life.

Miss Submissive

Growing up, I saw my mother kneel down for my father every minute he passed by her.

She would slap my cheeks if I didn’t follow suite.

She always told me, ” Girlllll, the man of the house controls everything. You respect him and listen to everything he says, and you will be a happy wife. He will give you everything you need.”

Then I kept wondering if my Mother was happy.

As a child, in a family of 4, we were okay, okayish

A man’s got to be a man!

If he wants 10 wives, you have to support his decision.

Be content with what he can offer you.

Do not stoop over his decisions.

I do not desire the daily hustles; I want him to give me everything. That’s all know in life.

I will make heirs and heiresses for him.

I want to wake up every day, stress free.

Miss Make It All

I have been running my own business

Hustling to the dot to make it all ends meet.

They see me and they think I have it all.

I try to keep a smile always; you do not let them know what you are going through.

May be the life I had growing up taught me the hard way of things.

You either fake it to make it, or you do not at all. I chose then.

Now, if he is not willing to make it for me,

I ain’t sticking around.

All I need, is someone who is going to take care of me and support my dreams.

He has to be willing to start a family with me with all I got.

I will stand by his side as he does mine.

He should know what he wants with life. Stop wandering all over like a sly dog.

Miss Crave for Attention

There is no way I am doing this, if you don’t get to see I exist.

I see you; you see me.

I work my heels off; tell me you see me.

I cook for you; tell me you loved it.

I dress up splendidly, take a picture of me. Show me off!

I wake up every morning, with a smooth kiss from you.

A simple good morning text could not kill you

Take me out to those dates!

Let’s talk about the future

I want to see myself in your future.

What plans do you got for me?

I want to be yours, but I need you to see me.

Listen and understand my future plans, feel thrilled about them.

I want that dream marriage proposal, one that I always wished to have.

Let’s travel the world together. Let’s make those dollars together. Let’s be US.

Miss Happiness

Whatever makes me feel whole, is all i want

Happiness has no limit.

If there is no man that can give me that,

then I will do it all by myself

I will journey through the whole world to find that happiness I crave for

You never know where it could take you.

Life is too short to be miserable waiting for a simple question like ”Will you marry me.”

If he isn’t there, then well, I got to make it all by myself.

Your dreams are different from mine.

‘ I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life- and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.’ Georgia O’Keeffe.

And she roars !

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Life is a whole lot of bits of up and down. Crazy how I am always here manoeuvring about life like it has not been happening before then. Ask Father Abraham , and he will gladly tell you lots of fun crazies about his 100+ life on planet earth. More so , the evolution of the earth theories , that try their best to confuse us east and west about the beginning of the earth. I say, believe what you can believe.

21 years old , she was already happily employed at her first work place , and was striving for that 000,000 hit one day one time then. 25 years old , she thought she would have had it all ( apart from a family, hehehehe , she wasn’t ready) , she had hit that 000,000 and was looking forward to 000,000,000. “ Okay, it gotta be at 30, right?” She wondered to herself .

Funny how we ignore all the factors around us in making the kind of person you are now . Most people think when you work hard , get that promotion or that investment in, that’s it , everything will gladly follow. But then we forget , damn, the people in your life that could even depend on you, those always waiting for a chance to surbotage you , the constant failure to determine what you truly want in life …. Bluh bluh bluh …. list them all in that notebook, I know you got a whole list of items after reflecting upon your life.

We get confused in what we are now , where we are now , what we are doing now with who we want to be then. In most cases , these two are totally different and it’s always hard giving up the latter for then. What if it doesn’t work out? What if I never make it ? But then , Then is slowly showing up and you are not ready to be Then .

Then , what do you do? And SHE ROARS ! Higher than a lion…. If life so be it , let it be …. That just snapped out of my mind and i even don’t know if you gerrit but i gerrit . Maybe , I wasn’t ready for Then in the Latter but i chose and choose to go with Then now because Then is my future. It is who I have always wanted to become , who I have worked so hard for to be, and who will give me the joy , peace and comfort I am so much aspiring to attain. Yes, it is going to be hard or even harder but I gotta trust Then to be worth the wait .

This should be good enough to kick start my 2023 and THEN decade . Make it an astonishing one as it should be, get those business plans approved , procure that big chunk of land , that travel destination better be sealed in , put that idea on paper and don’t let Latter stop me from being Then.

I like reading and learning from Robin Sharma , and she shared some insights on how to make 2023 a great year for oneself. Maybe you could pick out one or two things to look forward to , 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽

1. Stop worrying about things you can’t control.

2. Drink more water.

3. Don’t check messages upon waking up.

4. Work in blocks of time that you’ve carved out on a written weekly schedule.

5. Write a daily “not to do list”.

6. Use positive words. Stop using victimspeak.

7. Don’t say yes to activities you don’t want to do. Life is too short to be spending your time doing things you can’t stand.

8. Exercise first thing each morning.

9. Don’t read the news. Ok—maybe once a week.

10. Use music as a productivity [and mood] enricher. Make playlists for new projects.

11. Avoid people who make you feel bad. And remove the dream stealers from your days.

12. Talk to yourself in a more encouraging way. There’s no one else like you alive on the planet today.

13. Do fewer work activities yet increase your quality dramatically. It’s better to push one piece of mastery into the marketplace than a thousand pieces of average.

14. Study your craft for an hour each day. The performer who practices the most wins.

15. Take more naps.

16. See the gifts on others. And polish the ones within yourself.

Making THEN attainable .

Creating Thyself

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Life is an escapade of so many wonders and desires and in most cases we find ourselves lost in our own mind creations that we forget that there Is a real life that has to lived. A life full of heart desires, heartbreaks, daily challenges and wins, and the constant ache to pursue happiness amidst all. Talking to many people, you get to realize that everyone is trying to find that one true love, trying to get that dream job, have that baby, chasing a pocket full of to-do list items to mark off at the end of the day. And it all comes down to that one thing called ‘’FINDING HAPPINESS”. Am I happy where I am right now? Is this what I truly want with my life? What happens next when I take this step in life? The Will to start all over again is the strongest of all and it takes a lot of guts and power to make that vast decision in life. It could take one 1 week, or others years and years or even some months, and others seeking out advice from others on what to do. In the end, a decision has to be made.

Growing up, in my family, we were taught to work harder, and make it no matter what. Like the common saying that goes, fake it till you make it. My dad was always this kind of person who never easily gave you whatever you asked of him unless you proved you were worth it. My life has always been about working harder, making it regardless of the situation, fighting for what I want, and don’t easily give up. What do I want in the end? Is to be happy, having done my best, and enjoying the company of my family. Life is not a smooth ride that everything you desire will come to pass however much we focus all our energies on that. You are moving in this direction but there are forces or people pulling you in the opposite direction. I am a realistic person. As I like to refer to myself. I will honestly tell as is and Je deteste imposing at all costs.

At the beginning of this new year, I vowed to myself to create thy true self. To try and do some of the things that I have always wanted to do or achieve. I have a long list of all these to do adventures, professional growth and development, adding a skill to current skills, finishing that book that I have been writing forever, and amazingly, taking the second step in my life and settling down with some nice gentleman willing to have me as me. Was I ready to execute all these changes in my life? Damn right, I was and still am. I came to believe that I can’t keep holding back some of these life desires for the sake of the theory of postponement.

Happiness can be achieved in a number of ways that greatly surpass monetary terms. Am I content with the decisions that I made? Yes, very sure and only God knows my true heart desires.

What is your great heart’s desire? What is that one thing that you have always wished you could have or be? That one thing that you keep telling yourself to consummate a vast load of bravery to do. It’s now or never. Stop postponing your happiness for fear. Let no one make you feel bad for the kind of person you choose to be or want to be. Get in with the right category of friends, partners,s and lasting family that will appreciate you for the kind of person you are and aspire to be. That alone will push you to the max, to achieve your sole purposes and heart desires.

Life is not about finding thyself but about creating thyself. Lose yourself to the things you like to do and will finally discover the person you are or are meant to be.

Let’s walk this journey together 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

Am I ReAdY?

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Am I ready ? Am I really really ready? The question I ask my self so many times , playing dribble in my head and excitedly keeping me confused sometimes. We all have had that experience with friends or family that keep asking you when will you be this, have that , do that , be there among others in life , like we do have control over one’s destiny. In most cases , I numb my lips and knowingly decide not to give a response to avoid stirring a longer one of no right answers towards the dropping future questions. Instead, the one question keeps coming back and forth in my mind and I do not know what to tell myself either. Am I really ready? Am I leading the right path?

I know society has created this constant picture about how one ought to live and what to have achieved when and where and I know myself to not give any fucks about it at all . But sometimes , it still comes back rumbling in my mind due to the crazy pressure It instils upon my sweet self. Am I ready ? Am I really walking the right path towards my destiny? Are they the right moves am making? Will it be too late for me? Do I need to do something about it now that it is all over my head? Well Well Well Well, I don’t know at all. But what I am definitely sure of , is God has fully set my future for me and every step I take now is leading me towards that path and I just have to keep going .

Now that this year of wonder has surely come to an end, am definitely going to do my best come 2022, to reduce on the wonder! I really have high expectations of myself and am looking forward to accomplishing them all. The 3rd level started off at a hard start but I beg to believe that it is all a blessing in disguise for me.

Picking a leaf from another fave author , Robin Sharma, where he encourages me to get set for 2022 ;

1. That few things are as valuable as your family being healthy, safe and sound.

2. That messy periods reveal how strong you’ve made yourself (through your routines and daily practices). They also pinpoint all the internal work still left to do.

3. That beauty exists in the simplest of things. And that once we commit to finding it, it always appears.

4. That in dark moments our world needs you to shine more brightly.

5. That every time we complain or make an excuse, we degrade our power. And disrespect our genius.

6. That we can be most creative when our carefully constructed plans fall apart. Living in the question instead of in the answer can bring the most unexpected artistic and spiritual rewards.

7. That your parents can provide you with the richest of wisdom and your friends can give you a flawless happiness.

8. That helping others brings more inner peace than becoming famous ever will.

9. That sometimes the universe creates situations that force us to reflect, recover and rest. The ego calls it bad. The soul knows it’s good.

10. That those events that test us contain the very seeds of our finest triumphs.

11. That forgiveness is a gateway into joy. And gratefulness is the antidote to fear.

12. That peak productivity accelerates once you become cool with being solitary.

13. That you don’t need to go to a gym to stay really healthy.

14. That the world needs more heroes so rather than waiting for them do your best to become one of them. [Starting today].

With this, I definitely know I am ready for 2022.

Let’s roll!!!!

The Fuss with 30 (Part 2)

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Now that the fussing is done and I have happily joined the 3rd level, I beg to take a moment of chills and celebrate this milestone. If it wasn’t for God, I don’t know where I would be right now . He has seen me through it all, He has given me the knowledge I have needed to lead me to where I am right now . Who am I to make it here? Ohhhh, The fussing of after 30 is a definite go to and like Mark Manson said in his book “The subtle art of not giving a fuck, ‘’Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is of certain until it has already happened and even when it’s still debatable. Instead of striving for certainty , we should be in constant search for doubt; doubt about our own beliefs , doubt about what the future may hold for us unless we get out there and create it for ourselves. Instead of looking to be right all the time , we should be looking for how we are wrong all the time. Because we are getting it right ain’t easy but you gotten try.” I know it is not going to be easy for me , but I have no doubt I will definitely make it . My dreams are now bigger than before . During my previous decade , my biggest focus was to make it in the entrepreneurship world. I had a deep desire to be self employed by the time I made 30 and I can testify that I am happy with what I am and Who I have become by the grace of God .

According to research, your 30s is the time you finally become a grown up. During your 20s, you are still figuring out your self , and sometimes the decisions you make , don’t really take you to the next level . Quote me right , there are many people out there who are strongly making it in their 20s . Big up to them . My plans definitely changed a lot along the way, from having finished my Masters by 30 , to having had a home of my own by 30 to being self employed . It was never easy reviewing every dream and cancelling or even postponing a few but no regrets here . I am so excited of the future and great decade ahead.

So what now ;

Grow on my problem solving, abstract thinking, strategy and determination are all going to come into their own.

Less worry , and happier than ever before.

Definitely develop friends for life. I have come to realise that I have been walking with different kinds of friends during my 20 walk . Of which , I can neither confirm nor deny that these will be my friends for life . Well, let me see where this new decade takes me.

Increased endurance to fitness , this will be off the scale , everything will just come together. Help me and don’t find me some where and start fussing about how I look , that will definitely be my own dam business unless if it’s a compliment. (Makes an angelic grin).

Obviously earn more and be happier at work. Definitelyyyyyyyyyy!

The business start up will be at the cusp of its success. It’s has been a tight 2 years getting the business to where it is right now with my partners but it has been the most satisfying accomplishment of my life . From the recent expansions to the increase in revenue. Now that am on the next stage, it’s definitely going to catch fire over here. Want to know more , keep tags with us . No spilling beans here.

My holidays and travels are going to be way more satisfying. Those close to me do know my deep adoration for travel and more so exploration. With this new achievement , amma make them worthwhile like never before . Keep watching my space if you may. Thanks.

Definitely going to do the things I like more and most. You thought you knew me quite well , am sorry to disappoint you or not . This new level is getting me focusing on all the things I have always liked . I have had a silent or may be secret or even more shy liking for a lot of things that some people still have doubts I even like them at all . Hehehehe , well , am going to be all the way out there .

My advise to you , worried of making it to 30 or even at 30 now ;

”It’s okay if you don’t have it all together.
Try to embrace what makes you unique.
Find a healthy work and life balance.
Know that not everyone is going to like you.
Make money for your future self.
Know the importance of an emergency fund.
Remember, you are never stuck.”

Wishing my new self and decade all the best luck and just like my favourite bible verse says ;

“ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’’ Philippians 4:13.

The fuss with ”30”

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Everyone’s asking ;

Making a 3 decades of life is an exiting feeling one could ever dream of . When I was 12 , I only dreamt of making 16, when i thought that it would be a great timeline in my life until I made 16 and then I had to wish for 20, which was not as exciting as imagined . As young lady at University , walking through her leadership life and with a few friends,I had an awesome birthday party that September. I won’t lie , it was the biggest one I had ever had before . But then I was dreaming of 25, I had a dream that I would be working by then, seated in a big office and slaying in stiletoes and boots . I couldn’t wait to finish University .

I got my first job at 21, as a Sales Administrator and I was quite excited about it . With not so much responsibilities, I had a sweep of my money for the first 2 months until I had to take on family responsibilities. A typical African home it is. Go to school, graduate , get a a job and start looking after your little ones. Heheheh!

I was on the right path of my life, I was happy, In a good relationship with everyone and mostly my love life was spot on. I didn’t think of 30 yet, all I wanted was to get a car to ease on my few responsibilities like dropping my kid sister to school every morning before I went to work . My focus was to save as much money as I could so I could acquire this car . I didnt even know what exact car I needed then but I was sure It would be tinnier.

Within a year, I was promoted to Finance Manager with a salary increment. Who is never excited about that . I had got my car by then, a Suzuki Kei, and I was free from my dad’s constant check ups with his Toyota Premio that I was driving then once in a while . My to do list then was just a year ahead, and majorly focused on work growth and nothing personal. Whenever you meet a few friends, all they talk about is their growth like moving out of their parents’ home, getting married in a few months , giving birth or even being what they were then . Yaaaa right , 2013, my dreams were far different from y’all.

By the time I was 25 , I had changed a lot about my perspective of life and I had a number of aspirations to achieve . I remember noting in my notebook that September of 2016 , a 5 year plan of my life and goal. One being; to become a billionaire by 30. That was and has always been my number one priority and focus . How I was to get there , was all up in the plan and am very grateful , I have walked the path regardless of all the challenges along the way .

Now here I am , hitting the 3rd level of my life and so much has changed ,both about me and my life in general . But one thing that I know hasn’t changed is my one goal of life . However, much as I have lived my life to where I am right now , I can’t stop wondering about the ** FUSS with one making 30 years of life** .

Do I really need to have been Married by 30 !

When are you getting married ? When will you introduce your boyfriend or future husband to us? Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah ! The questions that get asked every time you meet people out there or even at family gatherings . I don’t understand if out there , someone’s focus is to really follow through on one’s life , but I think we gotta look else where . Personally , I have my own perspective of my life , and I would really love to live it that way . Of course I want get married one day, to the love of my life, and start a family . But would it hurt anyone if my life focus at 30 ain’t the same as yours ! I believe not everyone is bound to walk the same path .

It would be very important if people would ask questions like ; What is your greatest achievement in life so far? What are your plans ? What do you intend to achieve five or ten years from now ? et cetera .

Societal influence on one’s life is sometimes not necessary . Some people could be living the worst times of their life and they can not easily run away, all because of you have to do this and that by this certain age . I am not saying getting married before 30 is a bad thing ! I have a number of friends who are indeed living the best time of their lives , because they chose the right thing to do for oneself . Big up to them .

Live your life to your terms !

Better to have kids before 30 ! Yeah right …!

This happens to me a lot whenever I am in group of friends who have had kids for a long while now or even during family gatherings . ” Giving birth before 30 is safer ! You get to enjoy your life after then! You grow old with your kids! BLAH BLAH ” they always say .

Not to be a nut-head , I usually disagree with them . I can always get to enjoy my life before giving birth and I will even enjoy much more after doing so. Who said amma die soon and won’t get to live to see my grand children and who said giving birth after 30 ain’t cool .

What if the only reason why I don’t want to have the kids now is because I don’t feel ready ? I do not want to wake up one morning living a miserable life with an infant . No , No ! What if my plans are far different from what you think ? I would like to adopt 1 or 2 kids one day in life and I admire those families that foster these orphaned children .

Let’s normalise living our own lives and ignore what others have been for their lives ! Mind your business !

Your friends are much younger than you !

So what ? I didn’t know having a friend a few years younger than me was an offence. Or better yet, I am friends with much older people . I find it quite good for me to interact with people who are way better than I am , to pick one or two things from them here and there . Walking and dinning with like-minded people is an experience to die for. If you feel like am too old for you , to be friends with , better you ghost me now or never . In this age and century , everyone needs that one person or people that will always be there to offer them advise no matter the age .

I gotta say, am enjoying walking with both older and younger than me as I add more knowledge onto my oblongata, the same way I enjoying giving advise to those that look up to me .

My word to you ;

Hello Reader,

Am glad I have caught your attention right now. My 30-year-old-to-be mind is always blowing up with what-the-heck-with-30 questions and I keep talking to myself. I remember having a small conversation with my puppy wondering if he ever had such struggles with growing up , meeting a cute little bitch , mate and have his own puppies , and again and again . What a worry-free life, right?

My thought is , I should be free to live my life the way I see it fit , and I should give less attention to other people’s lives . If I like your way of life, Amma reach out for a quick help here and there and if I don’t find it quite fascinating , I will not even whisper a word .

Mind Your damn business !

Series 2 : Am I Kitty-Grannie now? ( The kindle is poisoned)

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Waking up every day to the sight of my 8 kittens , 2 cats , and a puppy felt like I had finally made it in life . Each single day that passed , was a reminder for me to keep doing good and keep rescuing more and more cats and dogs . I didn’t really care how much the Kindle oftenly disorganised my room every time my house help tided . It always felt like home to me . My friends mostly find it weird that I keep attached to my kindle . ” Give a cat or a dog a home , and the world will be much better ,” I always tell them.

Living in a residential area with a huge kindle is very tricky . Most of the neighbours are not really animal people and some just have a phobia for them . Having to deal with the hate from them every day for seeing my kittens play around is a daily hustle for me . Sometimes, it very challenging mostly when they get stoned in the midst of chasing them away . Like the old saying goes , Curiosity killed the cat! My Kindle is always up and down , from running across the muddy compound , to the floor tiles to the neighbours verandas . One day, I returned home from work , and my house help was narrating to me how one of the neighbours kept throwing heavy rocks to one of Desire’s kittens , and one had suddenly been hit . It wasn’t that serious of any injury , but it kinda broke my heart . I knew i had to do something about it . Of course, I was not going to start a war with my neighbours, I just had to get stricter with my kittens . I was 100% sure I had it under control .

‘Janet…. Desire and Destiny just returned home and they can’t stop vomiting .” listening to my Sister’s voice from the other end of the phone call . It was around 1;30 pm and I was already caught up with my daily hustle at office . My heart broke into pieces. For a few minutes , i wondered what could have happened to them . ” Mubuwadde ki kumakya , ” I asked in my mother tongue to mean – ”What did you give them in the morning.” With a terrified voice, my house help grabbed the phone from my little sister and said ; ” Muzungu, the usual ! We gave them some milk and whiskas!” It took me quite some minutes to grab my phone and dial the Vet . He was away on field work and he couldn’t make it but He advised us to give them some more milk and keep tabs on them until he makes it the next day . I requested my house help to double-check the storage unit for the whiskas . It was all good . That is when it hit me , that my 2 cats , Destiny and Desire had been poisoned .

At exactly 4pm , I was out of office rushing home to cuddle my cats. It was a tiring 1 hour journey for me .I couldn’t wait to be home . Slowly braking , I noticed a cat-like structure next to my aloevera tree . It was at that exact time it struck me that it was Destiny’s body lying on the ground . It had rained during the day and some mud had covered part of the body . I rushed out of the car in awe as my niece followed from behind. I couldn’t believe it was Destiny lying over there with no breathe . I rushed to my room , to check on her 1 week old Kittens , that were peacefully sleeping . ”How will they feed ?” , I thought to my self . With my busy schedule , there was no way I could manage the bottle feeding. Desire walked in suddenly . She was weak too and lay on my thigh for a cuddle, and it was then that I figured maybe she could feed the orphaned Kittens while feeding her 3 week old then.

It ‘s advised never to let the kittens feed off the mother cat if she is poisoned . I had kept some small bottles from the previous rescue ( that involved Desire,Destiny and Daisy who had wandered off months ago ) . I got some milk and eggs and made a cat-formula and started feeding kitten by kitten . It took me over 30 minutes to get all of them full and laid down . My house help , together with my sister , stayed outside digging a hole to bury Destiny . My prayer was to at least spare Desire the misery of death , or maybe me , having to feed 8 kittens every day , every time . I knew it was going to be a very long ride for me , for the coming few weeks .

Who could have done this to my kindle ? Where did they wander off to this time round ? I didn’t want to think it was my neighbours who could have done this ! My prayer then was for God’s protection over my 8 kittens and sick Desire !

What next ?

Learning from BP!

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Having to deal with the effects of COVID 19 during this past month has not been an easy one on me . I remember during the first weeks of the lockdown , the memes that were shared all over, we were very eager to get done with the lockdown and go party as hard . You could never go by a small jazz without talking about “what would you do first as soon as the lockdown was lifted .” I usually told Rakel , that I would drive through the night of the lift , just to come and stay at her home for a week to get over the gist of lockdown . We laughed and talked about it over and over , and we never ever imagined we would be where we are now .I always called my big sister , Viola , and promised to curb the road restictions and travel to her home with my small luggage to crack a few jokes with my nephews .

Now that the month of April was done and everyone was easily coping with the lockdown and curfew , we were so eager to get into the month of May . My sisters share a birth month and it was always funny talking about having scientific celebrations . On the other hand , I could sometimes text or hulla at my dad , who resides at the farm in Mukono . With a lockdown restrictions , it had been a while since we last visited him . He would get a day in a week and drive to Kirinya just to check on us and deliver a few matooke bunches for us . Always trying to curb the curfew , we never usually talked much as he had to get back to Mukono on time .

On 5th May , I was excited to bake a cake for my little sister, Flora’s birthday due 6th May . Filled with ecstacy , I bragged about it to Viola and the usual hob-nob . The next day , we got on the scientific birthday trail, enjoyed our cake , had our lunch and got to the usual tv routine until I saw my photo buzz non-stop . It was my mother giving me bad news about daddy “Mzee” . Mzee had collapsed while at the farm and was unconscious. The rush and horror we had to go through that evening to get an ambulance to Nsambya hospital , only God can tell . He was immediately diagnosed with a Stroke and clot and was admitted to the ICU section . This then was the start of the real lockdown to me .

It’s been a tight month or plus for me and my family, having to stay at the hospital every day and sometimes commute to work from hospital after endless sleepless nights. We are still here and growing stronger each day . With the support from all our friends and family , we will forever be grateful .

Being at the hospital all this while has not only been hard on me , but I have got to learn quite a few things that I want to share with you here today . Seeing people die everyday , every hour of the day , was kind of scary in the beginning and sometimes it horrified my mother . We kept strong each and everyday and have the faith that one day Mzee will lift a hand and get onto his feet and we leave the hospital with wider smiles . Learning the different causes of deaths of the people was the most horrifying of it all , from Diabetes , to the mighty “blood pressure ” to Kidney failure , had me reflecting on how I live my life . If I really want to surpass the “90”year age dream, I need to consider living life the right way .

It’s amazing how we live our lives normally and never ever get to know that some of the things we do , could lead us to a hospital bed in the corner .Diabetes and high blood pressure are “silent killers,” as many people don’t know they have these diseases; and so they do not get any treatment. Uncontrolled diabetes and/or uncontrolled high blood pressure can lead to chronic kidney disease (CKD). High blood pressure (hypertension) is one of the principal causes of kidney disease and kidney failure. When blood pressure is high, there is a large amount of tension inside the blood vessels that leads to damage. These vessels may “close off”, which can cause a heart attack, stroke, or kidney failure.

Interacting with the doctors everyday got me concluding that if I need to avoid getting these diseases, i ought to take care of my blood pressure . But how do I keep my blood pressure at the normal rate . Reseach shows that , a normal human body blood pressure is usually 120/80 . So how do I help myself , to be able to help others ;

I ought to change how I live my life ;

My diet ( what I eat or drink ); For example, too much sodium (salt), alcohol, or caffeine intake may increase the blood pressure. Reduce or no more alcohol , and coffee . Read food labels and avoid adding extra salt to food.
My body weight ; Increased weight leads to fluid retention, and the extra fat releases hormones that can make blood pressure rise. Excess weight also causes the heart to work harder. Routine exercises can speed-up weight loss and also makes your heart stronger, making it able to pump more blood with less effort. Even if you do not have high blood pressure, regular exercise can help prevent it from rising as you age.
How often do I stress over things ? Learn to delegate a few things . Learn to calm myself down in times of uneasiness through self meditation.
Love myself ; Find time to relax and do things that I enjoy .
Regularly monitor my blood pressure at home or even see a doctor .

Did you know that ; In general according to https://www.mayoclinic.org

Men are at risk if their waist measurement is greater than 40 inches (102 centimeters).
Women are at risk if their waist measurement is greater than 35 inches (89 centimeters).

So now that I know what I need to do , I will be able to help myself , be there for Mzee , for mommy and my siblings and maybe one day, my future husband and kids .

Do not be a victim of this “hypertension” , knowing that the little things we enjoy in our everyday life , if not done cautiously , they can forever affect us and our loved ones. I leave it to you then .

Let God be with us all and I hope we can be out of hospital pretty soon .

Featured

Love Tales Series (1)

Waking up to a beautiful sun rise,
Walking past the door to the small window
Imaging the perfect touch of his caresses on her body,
A moment to last a century in her thoughts
Did he whisper to her notes of romance?
Or he continuously exclaimed her praises?
Reminiscing tales of an everlasting affair,
Did he mean everything he told her?
She wondrously sighed .

The sweet love tales ,
Her mother always told her about ,
The love that blossomed in the family
Never heard of a mismatch
Is it true she had found her soulmate?
Or he was a castle blue along the shores?
Preying on a pen in her mouth, she thought,
“Will he call or think about me tonight? Or maybe he will write to me ?”

I want to hold you tight and maybe kiss you,
He wrote to her that night .
Filled with ecstasy, she said yes
The days counting down, seemed longer
Waiting for a while to see him again was tiring
“Will he change his mind?” She sadly thought
The sparkles in her eyes
The butterflies in her stomach
Could not handle the wait any longer,and
Good byes are not her strong suit!

From Accra to Lagos !

Whose jollof tastes better and spicer? Yet to find out . I would say having tasted jollof for the first time in Ghana , it’s was the only jollof taste I knew , and mehn , it was quite spicyyyyy but very tasty. While in Accra, the Nigerians kept reminding us to watch out for the Nigerian jollof as it would be the best in the entire jollof community. Hehehehehe, well who would not want to look forward to that intriguing spice.

Preparations ensued for months , and here we were on early morning , 4am , of 20th November, heading to the airport to catch that early morning flight to Lagos. Everyone was excited to be there. I couldn’t wait to make it to the famous Lagos i always saw in the movies.We all couldn’t wait to make it to the famous Lagos. In a few hours , we were at Murtala Muhammed International Airport. My expectations were to find quite a crowded place with planes flying in and out every second , and maybe a number of arrivals and exits. But , I would say I was quite disappointed to walk through the terminals like it was a normal day at a corporate office. Well, maybe it gets busier at the end. May be most people fly private. Hehehehehe. We will see then. It took quite a while for the person in charge of our pick up to make it to the airport , so we had enough time to analyse and get the feel of Nigeria. ” Oh well, there is no airport wifi here? OK!?” My internet roaming won’t do as well. Well , only thing left is to look at passersby and maybe take a few pictures to commomerate the long haul at the airport. It is just tooooooooo quiet for an international airport.

It was time to head into the centre of Lagos. One thing I forgot to catch on , was that it is an entire island. The Lagos lagoon leading out from the airport to the centre was a wow beauty. I thought , in my country , we were the craziest drivers ever to exist, in comparison to other countries I had been to, but Nigerians , are one of hell of crazy drivers. WOOOOOOOOW! It was interesting to watch all those cars on the highway in rush to wherever they were headed while catching the beauty of the Lagoon. It was quite a long drive to the hotel where we were supposed to stay for the rest of the visit. We were very hungry on top of it all but couldn’t wait to get a glimpse of the Lagos as soon as we settled for the next days.

By evening around 5pm Nigerian time, we arrived at the Hotel in Lagos, where we had pre-booked for our stay. Then something interesting happened, we needed to pay for our accommodation, and they could not receive US Dollars, they only needed naira either in cash or account and they could not let us use our cards as well at the moment. Catching onto the Nigerian accent and attitude was quite hard but interesting. ” You have to go out and change the dollars to naira, then come and make payment and be able to check you in!” Oh wowwww, okay then. A few of us journeyed out on the quest to exchange the dollars to naira , as the rest of us took a chill at the hotel restaurant area to grab some drinks and meals on credit. After hours of waiting, they returned with no naira. It was hard to find a forex bureau in Lagos(at least where we were) nor did bank exchange for foreigners. Luckily, the hotel management understood and checked us in on condition we did get the money in the morning of the next day. Lesson 1 learnt: While travelling to Lagos, either change your money at the airport or you will deeply feel it with your foreign currency(US Dollars). Of course the next day, we did manage to change our US Dollars to Naira with the help of one of the hosts.

Lesson 2 learnt: While moving around the island, make sure to have every little bit of denomination. I gotta say, in Lagos, be it a restaurant, bolt, supermarket, local market, or everywhere around the island, no one ever going to give you back any balance or change after you pay for a service or product. Everyone would say they have no small money, but literally, they are carrying a load of small notes with them. I can’t tell how much money I had to let go in “I have no change ma’am.” Hehehehhe, crazy but anyway, learnt the hard way and had to definitely survive.

Lesson 3 Learnt: Sometimes, carrying a lot of naira, won’t get you any service or product. And most times, a visa card won’t do you any justice as well. Had a long to-do list for the stay, places I definitely wanted to visit and many more. I had to tick them off my list. There was no time to waste at all. I even got my cash(naira) now and nothing would stop me from having fun. The next day, was to visit one of the biggest beaches on the island. There is no way I was planning on visiting Lagos and not getting to the Atlantic ocean. What kind of person would I be? Bolt ordered. Bolt delivered and there we were at the beach entrance. Quite a lot of activities and fun things to do. I got the cassssssssssh money !!! ” No cash payments here, you have to download the app, have some money on your account and then you can pay entry fees.” Wait a damn minute, what! Long story short, we had to contact one of the locals who then helped send the money to their payment platform and we got the tickets to get access to the beach. We had managed to buy a few bites from the supermarket as we waited for the entry to be sorted, and we had to swallow them with utmost urgency as no outside bites were allowed in. Don’t get me started on Visa cards not allowed at all. Like howwwwwwww!

However, with some tourist places , it was otherwise. You could easily use cash , or card or even mobile money payments. Was looking forward to visit the Conveservation centre . I am a sucker for nature , no matter what. Next day , plan was to visit the centre , art galleries and as well do some bye bye souvenir shopping.

At the top of the Canopy Walk at Lekki Conservation Centre.

The Nike Art Gallery. Quite a spectacle for art lovers.

Great wind down for the day with some Pounded Yam and Egusi (Chicken or Goat or Lamb or any sauce of preference). Loved the ambiance at this venue. And the food was very tasty and less chilly in comparison with the junk places all over the Island.

Whose jollof tasted better? Ghana or Nigeria?

I loved both but I still prefer Ghanian Jollof to Nigerian Jollof. The chilly in both is crazy but crazier in Nigeria. The taste in Ghana is better than that of Nigeria. My own opinion.

And hey, don’t get intimidated when a Nigerian talks to you. Apparently, they are naturally born tough. Hehehehe …. And the economy as well makes it worse. Well, at least that is what one of the Bolt drivers told us during one of our city drives when we asked him why everyone was so tough and the hospitality level was very low. At first, it felt really hard interacting with Nigerians as it felt like we were going into some fight for some reason, but after this talk with the Bolt driver, it actually made sense and felt normal for the rest of the days.

Dress code . In comparison to my country, these ladies knew how to rock them tights. It is quite free to walk around and felt interesting. My own country, you would trip in your tight dress from thousands of whistles and sometimes curse questions from fellow road users.

I could write a whole year of paragraphs about my short stay in Lagos but I gotta stop somewhere one way or another.

Do I want to visit Nigeria again? Uhmmm, it is some question that I kept asking myself all the way . I had quite a hard time on the first day, never have I ever experienced that in any foreign country, but managed to adjust and had fun the rest of my stay. Yes, I would love to return to Nigeria, maybe not Lagos, but another City.

#TravelWcJanet

The West of Africa**Accra, Ghana!

It was a long haul from the COVID lockdowns and everyone was looking forward to the next travel plot. I couldn’t stop checking travel fliers to see where I could go next. I just longed to get out there. Previously, before the whole COVID situation, there had been a scheduled conference but was cancelled and I felt quite derailed. I always love to take advantage of these travel opportunities, simply because, not only am I going out to a new place, to make friends and see the world, but I am traveling in a little cheaper way. Who wouldn’t want that!!!!!

The flier came in and here we were. 10 days in the city of Accra, Ghana. Hoorayyyyy! Without second thoughts, I had already signed up. I couldn’t wait to get out there! With a whole 8 months planning for the trip, I was intrigued every passing day and couldn’t wait to get on that plane and out of Uganda. In my mother tongue, it is said, ” Okutambula kulaba!”. To simply mean, to travel or go out there is to see other places you could never have imagined.

November! Time was up, suitcase packed, and on the road to the airport. Took a little longer to get to Accra, Ghana as the plane had a stopover in Kigali but once we were there, my whole body was filled with excitement. As expected, the people were very hospitable. I could not wait to see the city of Accra and more so visit the coast. One thing that I was not quite prepared to experience, was the very very very hot chilled food( they call it Pepe). Every meal had pepe in it. ” Nuh, I can handle Pepe, I eat chilly every day with my meals. Nothing is new here!” Before I tasted the tasty jollof rice and left my eyes teary for hours. It was indeed a great experience for me.

Once in Accra, I managed to take part in the conference during the morning hours, and the afternoon to evening hours were slated for touring the city, taking some nice shots, making memories, and of course doing a lot of shopping. There is no going to the West of Africa if you do not intend on coming back with a bunch of African fabrics. It is cheaper there! I managed to pack up a few for myself and already enjoyed the feeling with my designs. As I speak, I am dressed in one of them. Picture for another time. Hehehe

I truly enjoyed my short stay in Ghana. They were quite hospitable and helped whenever the call was made. There is surely so much to see in Ghana, and I hope I can see that soon. I mostly enjoyed the visit to the Coast, learning more about the history of the slave trade at the Coast, and putting my history theory to work. Was so awesome but mostly disheartening knowing what the people went through then.

And sooo much more;

Onto the next quest, come 2023, we explore Lagos, Nigeria. Can’t wait.

Travel is bae!

Daily writing prompt

What are your future travel plans?

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Travel is life! Travel is bae! There are so many places to visit across the world. Everyone’s got that little list of places to visit one day one time. Your dream destinations! Honeymoon spots ! or maybe just another ordinary lone trip or even a girls’ trip. I love to travel, so I set out a manageable budget for the places I would like to visit a year. I could visit one or two places either locally or abroad, as long as I can do it.

I enjoy visiting and re-visiting as many places as possible in my home country and more so Game parks and thrill activities. Embarked on this in 2015 and it’s been a great ride and more is yet to come. Uganda always comes first. This year, I want to embark on a Mountain Climbing journey and hopefully, It can be one great journey for the next 5 years.

There are a number of opportunities that come along the way and give you a chance to travel cheaply across the world. These are the opportunities that I easily grab and never miss. To say , conferences, to mention but a few.

Sometime this year at Itanda Falls, Jinja.

But then, I want to travel the entire world. There is a way it opens one’s eyes to one’s view of life, not forgetting my thrill for adventure. Lately, I have been quite obsessed with some K-pop and K-drama series. I think I want to visit South Korea honestly and sooner. And yes, it has been moved to the top of my To-Travel list. And my romantic side of view has always dreamt of chilling at Seychelles Island and putting to use my french in Paris.

Those out there, intending to travel, I would like to give a big shout-out to my home country, Uganda, commonly known as “The Pearl of Africa”. Trust me, it will be worth the visit. With great and beautiful scenery all across the country, the hospitable Ugandans, the great local food cuisines, ecstatic weather, and above all, very much affordable. Be sure to check out #VisitUganda, https://www.gou.go.ug/visit-uganda, and many other places you could get more info about Uganda. It will be worth every dime.

Sometime in 2020 at the Kidepo National Park!

Sometime in 2017 at Queen Elizabeth National Park!

To mention but a few.

Don’t forget to have your dime, and that camera for all those pictorial memories, and always carry a souvenir with you. Something I got to learn along the travel journey.

Or maybe, I should embark on a travel blog journey! …….. food for thought.

Peace!

Just the way you are !

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

« You are fine just the way you are. » the best compliment I have ever received .

Being born with a skin that 1001 times reactive , has been one of the biggest struggles in my life to date. From fighting crazy pimples that eventually scar to fighting hypertrophic scars that sometimes show up from nowhere.

I always admired my big sister while growing up and wished I didn’t have to go through the struggle of covering up my scars on the body because every where I went and they were revealed , the first thing any one asked was ,”What happened?” Or even some say “I was also like you but now I am fine.” And I was always out of words explaining myself and why I was that way. Thumbs up to my mother who always tried hard to find cures here and there . And more thumbs up to my auntie ,Fredah who provided all the financial support whenever I had to go in for any scar surgery .

I could count about 5 surgeries that I have had to date on my body to curb the scars and maybe more to come . Oh God,forbid !!! Funny story is , even a mosquito bite gets me a scar. Or an inch from now where develops into a scar as well. Shaving is also another tricky part , trying to avoid a scar developing from after shaving my pubic areas is another hustle of it’s not own. I always knelt down and had a serious talk with God on why I was born this way, why among my siblings , I am the only one who has to have this condition. My monthly visits to the skin clinic for those scar injections are never ending . Yes , I have seen results , some have and are healing but then , how long do I have to keep doing this to feel free from inching.

But then this time round , a stranger, that I could never cross paths with ever in my entire life , wasn’t asking me the why i am like this ? Or comparing oneself to me but rather told me I looked fine , splendid just the way I am. Maybe that’s all I needed to hear to embrace my skin . Maybe that’s all I needed to know to keep fighting , to be strong whenever I visited the clinic. I am very certain I am not the only one in this fight and I hope I get to meet someone just like me . Maybe we could embark on a scientific journey to find a permanent solution to hypertrophic scars ?

Do you believe it exists? Witchery!!!!!!!

« Nuh, i do not certainly believe any of that exists! It’s only in Nigerian movies. » I always told myself . If you would recall those Nigerian Movies we used to watch, with the mother-in-law who never liked the daughter-in-law and intended to use witch doctors to create a force that would make the marriage fail, or those big-tummed men who felt like they did not have enough money to live a heavenly life and need the witch doctors to do something about it. It felt entertaining and fictional at the same time. I always thought to myself. But wait, do you think all this exists ? Is it true ? Then you watch one of your favourite western movies mostly the ones with vampires and there are these witches that we like a lot because they use their powers for good. I am sure everyone who watched Vampire Diaries loved the character Bonnie Bennett. So, witchery can be used for good too? They call it magic or sorcery in the western world. Not the African way … It always confused me . In mind conclusion , I believed , nuhhhhh, there is no way it does exist in the real world. This is all for entertainment. The bazungu , in the western world prefer to call it magic like we have watched in all those block buster movies, you know them . And funny how we have always supported the character(s) with the magic but in the African movie industries, it is referred to as witch craft and we have always hated that character . Hehehehehe, which is which?

But then again you come across some one in daily life narrating to you their struggles and how witch craft purported on them made their life a shit hole but they finally realised that it was some distant or close relative or friend that had bestowed the evil on them and did what they had to do and now are set free. Hehehehehe, yes …True or False … You gotta listen closely and understand these semantics . Then there are tarots , palm reading , horoscopes , is all this sorcery. Then , you hear stories about the ‘Illuminate’ , locally people refer to it as ”going under water” and all that and this. Growing up , there was a woman who lived not far from my parents’ home and she hated any black animal and mostly cats. Her reason was that evil spirits travel(led) through dark or black cats. But then I love cats a lot , I love animals like beaucoup beaucoup. How do I ignore those cute little faces when they stare at me. No wayyyyyyyyy.

Sooooo, funny some say I found out my so and so had gone to bajaaja, referred to as ”Witch Doctor” over here , and they want to fail my business, marriage blah blah blah , but then I decided to do the same thing to them and reverse the circle so that they feel what I have been going through. A friend who rumoured to a friend friend of mine who then spilled all the beans to me. I laughed ofcourse. Like why would you do the same thing that was done to you. Is it cause the bible says in Leviticus 24:19-21 , “And a man who injures his countryman-as he has done so it shall be done to him, fracture for fracture, eye for eye-tooth for tooth. Just as another person has received injury from him, so it will be given to him.” ? Okay guys , let’s be real , if only God who can do a genuine an eye for an eye thing. Lets leave it to him.

But then, some more into christianity , deal with such issues spiritually. ”Babizaaaayo” (refer the evil spirits and power back to sender in the mighty name of Jesus Christ) with the power of the Holy Spirit. And if you believe so , it always works 100% . The vital question right now is ‘ Do I , as I , believe witchery truly exists”. Well well , I think I do believe it does exist and so many people are entangled in this mystery everyday . My biggest prayer has always been for God to protect me and my loved ones from ever encountering this mystery.

What is your belief ?

Life of a 30 DOWN to an end!!

Uhhhhhhhh, my constant chants about thirty will never cease to rub off my mind. Waiting a decade of time to get to this level was worth the wait. Tell me I could be wasting my time. Oh wait, it’s about time, I turned thirty-one, and weigh in on whether I still got it: if I am still on track, or maybe have I achieved what I wanted to by now? Five years ago, I set out to work as much as possible before hitting thirty: be self-employed, traveled across the country, make a chunk of friends, and hit that extra 000 zeros mark and again most importantly self-employment. It does look good on me, I can narrate til the end of the Earth. Yes, I have achieved quite a number of these by twenty-nine and thirty found me quite solid and good to go. They say, make thirty and start to live life, the thirties are life’s prime years. I do not about the other thirty(ies) buddies but my first year on the level has not been bad at all. Of course, the business has not been the best considering the current inflation in the country and on top of that, the aftermath impact due to the COVID 19 lockdowns across the country, and not to mention, I hear, the Ukraine-Russia War is now the cause of every little monetary problem we have in the world.

Thirty! My new reality same time last year , was to live my life on my terms, do all those things that I have always wanted to do, venture in and excessively learn new skills, and attempt those things I have always wanted to learn and do not listen to what they say(you know what I mean) and above all, give back more to the community and help those unprivileged people and animals. Hehehehe, my love life started out chunky, funny, and heartbreaking and it is still chunky, funny and me and me ….hehehehe, and I am still journeying it. How do you guys even do it! Mehnnnnnn! Anyway, here I am, coming to the end of the 1st year and I am quite ecstatic and enthusiastic about it all. I have and still learning new skills, I have always had a thing for languages and I am glad I am pursuing it and close to the end. Any time now, I will be your big lingual friend. Business is still business. Travelling more now and can not wait to travel further this new age. I got my bestie Rakel with me all through my lows and highs, she bears all my craziness. I can not my girls’ monthly hangouts, you girls rock deep! And yes, that dream to acquire that big land for the sanctuary and coming closer and closer and only hope and have faith in God to make it possible for me. Yes, yes, yes, stop asking me about marriage, my life my terms, and by the way, you will be in awe. That book I am writing, the chapters are getting there pas a pas! Whom am I kidding, hehe hehe, not done quite much with it but I am pinching myself hard this time round, those chapters will be screaming hallelujah.

It may seem like I do got it all figured out by now. And yes, I do got it, I can say, 70% figured out by now (as my 5-year plan, 5 years ago), but then it is not easy at all, I am still working my way up there and I hope this decade (1 year down the road) will be worthwhile. There is a short pause sometime this year that I felt like maybe, I could start all over again. Things were not actually adding up and was no longer ecstatic and I am still working my way around my life goal and purpose. And get yourself that professional photographer friend who will capture all those beautiful moments in your life(at a fee of course).

So, my best part, a little take home for Thirty One, thirty wannabes, those wishing to get there sometime in your life, and most importantly, those who made it here! Oh, picking a leaf from Mark Branson(Life Advice that doesn’t suck). Go read that book by the way.

1. Start Saving for Retirement Now, Not Later. Make it your top priority to pay down all of your debt as soon as possible. Stash away a portion of every paycheck every month.

2. Start Taking Care of Your Health Now, Not Later. We all know to take care of our health. We all know to eat better and sleep better and exercise more and better and blah, blah, blah. Eat those veggies, sign up at that gym, get that medical insurance paid up drink that water, et cetera et cetera.

3. Don’t Spend Time with People Who Don’t Treat You Well. Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself or another person. Don’t tolerate people who don’t treat you well. Period. Don’t tolerate them for financial reasons. Don’t tolerate them for emotional reasons. Don’t tolerate them for the children’s sake or for convenience’s sake. Don’t settle for mediocre friends, jobs, love, relationships, and life.

4. Be Good to the People You Care About.I think sometimes I may have taken some relationships for granted, and when that person is gone, they’re gone. Unfortunately, the older you get, well, things start to happen, and it will affect those closest to you. Appreciate those close to you. You can get money back and jobs back, but you can never get time back.

5. You Can’t Have Everything; Focus On Doing a Few Things Really Well. I told my 30-year-old self at the beginning of last year to set aside what other people think and identify my natural strengths and what I’m passionate about, and then build a life around those. I can attest that these new skills I am working on, will get me there in no time. Pas a pas .

6. Don’t Be Afraid of Taking Risks, You Can Still Change. While by age 30 most feel they should have their career dialed in, it is never too late to reset. The individuals that have the biggest regrets during their life are those that stay in something that they know is not right. It is such an easy way out to have the days turn to weeks to years, only to wake up later in life with a mid-life crisis for not taking action on a problem you were aware of 10 years prior but failed to act on.

7. You Must Continue to Grow and Develop Yourself. You have two assets that you can never get back once you’ve lost them: your body and your mind. Most people stop growing and working on themselves in their 20s. Most people in their 30s are too busy to worry about self-improvement. But if you’re one of the few who continues to educate themselves, evolve their thinking, and take care of their mental and physical health, you will be light-years ahead of the pack by 40.

8. Nobody (Still) Knows What They’re Doing, Get Used to It. Most of what you think is important now will seem unimportant in 10 or 20 years and that’s OK. That’s called growth. Just try to remember to not take yourself so seriously all the time and be open to it despite feeling somewhat invincible for the last decade, you really don’t know what’s going to happen and neither does anyone else, no matter how confidently they talk. While this is disturbing to those who cling to permanence or security, it’s truly liberating once you grasp the truth that things are always changing. To finish, there might be times that are really sad. Don’t dull the pain or avoid it. Sorrow is part of everyone’s lifetime and the consequence of an open and passionate heart. Honor that. Above all, be kind to yourself and others, it’s such a brilliant and beautiful ride and keeps on getting better

9. Invest in Your Family; It’s Worth It. You don’t have the time. You don’t have the money. You need to perfect your career first. They’ll end your life as you know it. Oh shut up… Kids are great. They make you better in every way. They push you to your limits. They make you happy. You should not defer having kids. If you are 30, now is the time to get real about this. You will never regret it. I am getting those babies coming through soonest. It seems that while the family is not absolutely necessary to have a happy and fulfilling life, the majority of people have found that family is always worth the investment, assuming the relationships are healthy and not toxic and/or abusive.

10. Be Kind to Yourself, Respect Yourself. Be a little selfish and do something for yourself every day, something different once a month, and something spectacular every year. I make it a must to have 1 or 2 travel destinations in a year by myself to just relax and thank God for my life.

Good luck! Peace to you all!

Yours in Thirty